Although I feel that my tragedy is the greatest in history, greater than the fall of empires, I am aware of my total insignificance. I am totally convinced that I count for nothing in this universe, yet I feel that mine is the only real existence. If forced to choose between the world and myself, I would reject the world, its light and laws, unafraid to glide alone in absolute nothingness. Although my life is a torture, I cannot renounce it because I do not believe in any absolute values for which I could sacrifice myself’
On the Heights of Despair,, Cioran
this solitary life 