Category: Asceticism

John 3

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John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven. Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him. He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.

John 3:27-30 (KJV)

The ascetic life is a desire to decrease (in this world) so that Jesus may increase (in me and this world). Or, to not be anchored in this world but in Jesus alone.

monasticism?

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Monasticism, that is individuals devoting themselves to an ascetic life in a monastery for devotional purposes, was an ever-present feature of the Byzantine empire.

Byzantine Monasticism

The above, I think, is a great working definition. Also, a working definition of “universal call to holiness”.

theology of presence

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Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come. … Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.

Matthew 24:42, 44

A theology of presence will proclaim the virtues of waiting and watchfulness.

wedding garment?

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And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:. And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen.

Matthew 22:11-14

what is “all”?

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I have been sick – not much sleep for the last two days. I am not sure how well my medication is working – I guess I will know when I get withdrawals. Anyway, I dreamt last night that I was walking into a church – a nondescript building which I somehow knew was a church. King of strange as I have not been to church for six weeks. There was no person in the church but a hymn was playing:

All to Jesus I surrender,
All to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
In his presence daily live.

Chorus:
I surrender all,I surrender all,
All to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to thee,
Fill me with thy love and power,
Let thy blessing fall on me.

Sometimes I remember my dreams. (I cannot know if I ever forget a dream!) The first thing that came to mind this morning was: What does “all” mean in this hymn? “All to Jesus I surrender – Lord, I give myself to thee”.

Maybe let me put it another way!? Does “all” include:

  • the institution of the church? or any institution?
  • the desire for certainty in this world? To find absolutes in either the community or the book?
  • morality?
  • duty?
  • family?
  • other people?

Anyway …

being certain

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… skepticism is but the result of our anxious desire to secure certainty by being “at home in the world.”

Harvey, Michael G.. Skepticism, Relativism, and Religious Knowledge

I struggle with what “tomorrow will bring.” I try to control things without much success. So, the above quote hits home (sorry!). Perhaps it is part of the anchorite tradition – the enclosed solitary life – to surrender any hope of certainty? I am thinking especially with other people. Do I have to make myself understood? Or is it that terrible if other people do not “get it”?

I am reading Slavoj Žižek. He is super funny. I think he is the perfect “modern” philosophy! Not for what he says but how he says it. Life is chaotic and unpredictable so why am I trying to be organised and predictable? Life is full of paradoxes and contradictions so maybe just take the leap and live?

All of that is super easy to say but living it is hard. Jesus by your holy wounds, have mercy on me.

Day 1 – mortification

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Day 1! Will I get through to the end? Maybe not a great question for the first day.

As this is Day 1, The Circumcision of Christ, the first spilling of blood, I am going to share some insights from Morning Prayer

Stand in awe, and sin not : commune with your own heart, and in your chamber, and be still.
Offer the sacrifice of righteousness : and put your trust in the Lord.

Psalm 4:4, 5

Almighty God, who madest thy blessed Son to be circumcised, and obedient to the law for man; Grant us the true circumcision of the Spirit; that, our hearts, and all our members, being mortified from all worldly and carnal lusts, we may in all things obey thy blessed will; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I read a book on the spirituality of the Prayer Book that emphasised its monastic origins. Life is structured in prayer – Morning, Evening, and Mass. But the other side of monasticism – mortification or asceticism – did not get a mention. The 1662 BCP has a system of days of fasting, abstinence, and feasting.

So, Day 1: “mortified from all worldly and carnal lusts” and “offer the sacrifice of righteousness“.

Day 0 – questions

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With God’s help, I plan to spend January alone. I am praying for a retreat at home.

Sometimes, writing down the question you bring to a retreat is a good idea. So: do I have a vocation to the solitary life? At the moment, I feel like I am using it as an excuse and escape from me. The end of the year was extremely difficult. And I have simply stepped back into old habits and thought patterns. So, to expand the question, do I have a vocation, or am I just running away from me?

I have become more aware of the differences between my view of Christianity and the community/parish. And that has really hurt. I would like to offer the hurt to Jesus as a form of mortification – hand it over to him. But, apart from the spiritual impact, there are impacts on my life-arrangement. In that context, do I have the resolution to start again?

And, to be honest, I feel like it is all me. I am again in a position where I feel I am the problem. In the end, there is no escaping me. Am I, as a person, suited to this life?

So, 31 days of January to work it all out!

white martyrdom

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Today the Church remembers that some who follow Jesus are called to white martyrdom. Holy anchorites, pray for us.

Merciful Lord, we beseech thee to cast thy bright beams of light upon thy Church, that it being enlightened by the doctrine of thy blessed Apostle and Evangelist Saint John may so walk in the light of thy truth, that it may at length attain to the light of everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Jesus said unto Peter, Follow me. Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou me. Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, That that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which if they should be written every one, I suppose, that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written.

The Gospel: St. John 21.19-end