Category: Personal

ban?

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

To be honest, I do not like the idea of banning things. There are words I wish I did not use – “unique” or “kafkaesque”. But banning seems a little kafkaesque.

What would the punishment be? “Word goal”?

[As an aside, I like the word “kafkaesque” but it makes me sound very “unique”.]

What do words really do? Is there any meaning behind them? Or only that which we assign them within our social context?

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

Certainty

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

The biggest challenge is “where to from here?”. I have hit a sweet spot when it comes to my daily life – good rhythm, right interaction. I think I have found a paradigm for me in history and there is peace.

But there is never certainty. The very fact that I look for control is part of the current struggle. The desire for external consultation is the struggle.

To put it a different way: what does it mean for me that my relationship with Jesus is absolute?

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

outsider

… the reason for Weil’s refusal of baptism that most stands out to me is perhaps the simplest: She didn’t love the church. “I love God, Christ, and the Catholic faith,” Weil writes. “I love the saints through their writings. . . . I love the six or seven Catholics of genuine spirituality whom chance has led me to meet in the course of my life. I love the Catholic liturgy, hymns, architecture, rites, and ceremonies. But I have not the slightest love for the Church in the strict sense of the word, apart from its relation to all these things that I do love.”

Simone Weil, a kindred spirit for church outsiders

me

What do you complain about the most?

People who know me, know I do not like “me”. I can never recall a time when I did. Everything about me upsets me: my physical awkwardness, my silly voice, my overwhelming and overbearing personality, my constant chatter about nothingness. So I complain about me to me and others.

But apart from that? The weather.

eye-glasses

Daily writing prompt
The most important invention in your lifetime is…
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… eyeglasses. I am so blessed to have reading glasses. I struggle without them. Perhaps I could do without other major inventions – the internet, air conditioning, computers, etc. – but I could not survive without being able to read.

i just wanna see ….

And I just wanna see
If you feel the same as me

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die
Like you’re hanging by a thread but you gotta survive cuz u gotta survive

Like your body’s in the room but you’re not really there
Like you have empathy inside but you don’t really care
Like your fresh outta love but it’s been in the air
Am I past repair

A little bit tired of tryin’ to care when I don’t A little bit tired of quick repairs to cope
A little bit tired of sinkin’
There’s water in my boat

I’m barely breathin’
Tryna stay afloat
So I got these
Quick repairs to cope
Guess I’m just broken and broke

My life!

be me

Daily writing prompt
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
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I do not use “to-do lists”. I have never used them. But the one item I know will never get done is “be me”. Or maybe, “stop wearing masks”. I am unsure why but I know I hide and censor “me”. Perhaps life has taught me to be more like everyone else? Maybe life has taught me that no one will like “me”? So masks it is – pretending and play-acting something that I am not.

cat!

Daily writing prompt
Write about your first computer.
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My first computer was a Dick Smith’s Cat. I started with a tape drive but later got a floppy disk drive – the big one. It was a cool computer to start with and it taught me lots about computing. It had Basic installed so I learned to program. And, if I remember right, I wrote a “V” game with sound.

leave

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

Leave my current context! I know I should, I have been told by people I trust that I need to, and my heart says that this is no longer home. But it is so difficult for me to even think about it.

I say that I will when someone else acts. But it should be me. I have outstayed my welcome and really need to move on.

But …