In a world of action, what does the call of Jesus to “follow me” mean? In the world of instant, what does it mean that everything belongs to God?
I like Weil – a rebel. She did not join the Church but confessed Jesus as Lord. Do moderns need to learn, from her, that waiting in hope is something to be desired?
But Christendom has abolished Christ; yet, on the other hand, it wants—to inherit him, his great name, to make use of the enormous consequences of his life. Indeed, Christendom is not far from wanting to appropriate them as its own merits and to delude us into thinking that Christendom is Christ.
Soren Kierkegaard
No institution can substitute for a living relationship with Jesus – as much as they may try, Sometimes you just have to stand alone before God!!!
Even so, come Lord Jesus.
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:1-2 (KJV)
The above is from Second Evensong for Candlemas. It reminded me of one of the post-communion prayers In the Second Order in APBA:
Father,
we offer ourselves to you
as a living sacrifice
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Send us out in the power of your Spirit
to live and work to your praise and glory.
What does “sacrifice” mean in these two texts? Not death. Perhaps we could define it as the surrender of a good (body in Romans) for a greater good (life in Jesus).
BTW: Augustine makes the opposite his definition of sin:
On account of all these, and such as these, is sin committed; while through an inordinate preference for these goods of a lower kind, the better and higher are neglected — even You, our Lord God, Your truth, and Your law.
Confessions 2:5:10
So, the choice between higher and lower goods is the root of sin and sacrifice.
Anyway …
What is the rebellion of the religious life? Perhaps this quote from Camus:
The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
I have been sick – not much sleep for the last two days. I am not sure how well my medication is working – I guess I will know when I get withdrawals. Anyway, I dreamt last night that I was walking into a church – a nondescript building which I somehow knew was a church. King of strange as I have not been to church for six weeks. There was no person in the church but a hymn was playing:
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
In his presence daily live.Chorus:
I surrender all,I surrender all,
All to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that thou art mine.All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to thee,
Fill me with thy love and power,
Let thy blessing fall on me.
Sometimes I remember my dreams. (I cannot know if I ever forget a dream!) The first thing that came to mind this morning was: What does “all” mean in this hymn? “All to Jesus I surrender – Lord, I give myself to thee”.
Maybe let me put it another way!? Does “all” include:
Anyway …
AM Allchin’s The Silent Rebellion is a book on religious life in the Church of England. I do not have a copy but I am looking for one.
It is often pointed out that the title, The Silent Rebellion, highlights the need for solitude for religious life. Yet, why “rebellion”? In what sense is it “a violent uprising“?
While I do not have an answer, this quote may help:
Their name itself, anchorite, means rule-breaker, the one who does not fulfil his public duties.
And maybe this one by Kierkegaard:
…Of this there is no doubt, our age and Protestantism in general may need the monastery again, or wish it were there. The “monastery” is an essential dialectical element in Christianity. We therefore need it out there like a navigation buoy at sea in order to see where we are, even though I myself would not enter it. But if there really is true Christianity in every generation there must also be individuals who have this need…
And from Fear and Trembling:
Faith is exactly this paradox, that the single individual is higher than the universal, but in such a way, mind you, that the movement is repeated, so that after having been in the universal he now as the particular keeps to himself as higher than the universal.
The tragic hero resigns himself in order to express the universal; the knight of faith resigns the universal in order to become the single individual.
The knight of faith, the rebel, stands with Jesus alone even against institutions. There is nothing higher than the individual’s relationship with Jesus – not even religion!
Anyway …
… skepticism is but the result of our anxious desire to secure certainty by being “at home in the world.”
Harvey, Michael G.. Skepticism, Relativism, and Religious Knowledge
I struggle with what “tomorrow will bring.” I try to control things without much success. So, the above quote hits home (sorry!). Perhaps it is part of the anchorite tradition – the enclosed solitary life – to surrender any hope of certainty? I am thinking especially with other people. Do I have to make myself understood? Or is it that terrible if other people do not “get it”?
I am reading Slavoj Žižek. He is super funny. I think he is the perfect “modern” philosophy! Not for what he says but how he says it. Life is chaotic and unpredictable so why am I trying to be organised and predictable? Life is full of paradoxes and contradictions so maybe just take the leap and live?
All of that is super easy to say but living it is hard. Jesus by your holy wounds, have mercy on me.
With God’s help, I plan to spend January alone. I am praying for a retreat at home.
Sometimes, writing down the question you bring to a retreat is a good idea. So: do I have a vocation to the solitary life? At the moment, I feel like I am using it as an excuse and escape from me. The end of the year was extremely difficult. And I have simply stepped back into old habits and thought patterns. So, to expand the question, do I have a vocation, or am I just running away from me?
I have become more aware of the differences between my view of Christianity and the community/parish. And that has really hurt. I would like to offer the hurt to Jesus as a form of mortification – hand it over to him. But, apart from the spiritual impact, there are impacts on my life-arrangement. In that context, do I have the resolution to start again?
And, to be honest, I feel like it is all me. I am again in a position where I feel I am the problem. In the end, there is no escaping me. Am I, as a person, suited to this life?
So, 31 days of January to work it all out!
This is the reading for Evensong today (30 December) in the 1922 Lectionary. Prayer, mortification, and seelsorge.
If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Colossians 3:1-17
this solitary life 