… ego

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)

Anti-Hero

I walked to the shops to buy food. It is going to be very hot today so I thought I would do it as early as possible. On the way, I heard the above song. I am no “Swiftie” – maybe in the Australian way of using it. Yet there is insight in this song. Yes, “I should not be left to my own devices” and “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I’m a monster on the hill“.

The lesson for me this Lent is “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism“. Being alone does not stop the ego from talking. The lesson for me this Lent is that I need not be the person with the answers, I do not need to be at the centre of things, and I do not need to be involved. How often do I dress service as something that feeds my ego? And, in my case, get hurt when it does not go the way I think it should?

Alone means, for me, not competing. My relationship with Jesus is not an Olympic event. It is personal and private (in the sense that it involves only me). How often do I love without looking for love in “payment”?

Anyway, thanks Tay Tay!!!!