Author: a fool

All alone with Jesus

… alienation

Social alienation is a person’s feeling of disconnection from a group – whether friends, family, or wider society – with which the individual has an affiliation. Such alienation has been described as “a condition in social relationships reflected by (1) a low degree of integration or common values and (2) a high degree of distance or isolation (3a) between individuals, or (3b) between an individual and a group of people in a community or work environment”.

Social alienation

I am reading the papers that were presented at the 1975 St David’s Meeting on the solitary life. A must-read for anyone interested, especially in the Anglican context.

A modern world, and maybe even a modern church, mistakes being “alone” for being “alienated”. The recluse is alienated from society – feels no connection with the world – the solitary is alone with God. According to the desert Christians, the solitary has a profound “solidarity” with all human beings. I feel alienated in most social contexts!

Alienation is “abstraction over the individual”. A role is something I do, vocation is something I am. A role (abstraction) works from the outside in, a vocation works from the inside out.

Where I am in all that I have absolutely no idea!

… ego

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)

Anti-Hero

I walked to the shops to buy food. It is going to be very hot today so I thought I would do it as early as possible. On the way, I heard the above song. I am no “Swiftie” – maybe in the Australian way of using it. Yet there is insight in this song. Yes, “I should not be left to my own devices” and “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I’m a monster on the hill“.

The lesson for me this Lent is “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism“. Being alone does not stop the ego from talking. The lesson for me this Lent is that I need not be the person with the answers, I do not need to be at the centre of things, and I do not need to be involved. How often do I dress service as something that feeds my ego? And, in my case, get hurt when it does not go the way I think it should?

Alone means, for me, not competing. My relationship with Jesus is not an Olympic event. It is personal and private (in the sense that it involves only me). How often do I love without looking for love in “payment”?

Anyway, thanks Tay Tay!!!!

… tears

As Jewish women saw it as a dishonour to be without children, so should the Xn see it as a dishonour to be without tears (which, like children, are gifts from God), and should pray, like Rachel, that God will open the womb and viscera of the heavenly man, and in the heart’s inward motions give testimony of conception.

KIERKEGAARD’S JOURNALS AND NOTEBOOKS, 2

… beyond self-justification

The church is a community that exists because something has happened which makes the entire process of self-justification irrelevant. …

The church points to the all-sufficiency of Christ when it is full of people whose concern is not to separate others from the hope of reconciliation and life by their fears and obsessions. A healthy church is one in which we seek to stay connected with God by seeking to connect others with God; one in which we ‘win God’ by converting one another, and we convert one another by our truthful awareness of frailty.

Silence and Honey Cakes: The Wisdom of the Desert, 33-34.

The solitary‘s aloneness allows them to live beyond comparisons. And, the solitary‘s humanness allows them to live in deep communion with other people.

… in writing

Whatever happened to hand-written letters?

I want to share something from Appendix V from the section dealing with spiritual direction for hermits:

Frequent meeting is not desirable, and most questions might be dealt with by correspondence.

Soul-friendship (a much better word for spiritual direction) should be via hand-written letters: sitting down, planning, and then physically writing with a pen. Some people journal – I do with a fountain pen. So a hand-written letter to your soul-friend asking questions, outlining problems, and celebrating “victories” would be a great way for a “hermit” (or anchorite) to receive (and maybe give) spiritual direction. One could keep the letters for later re-reading, say after a year.

What do you think?

… temptation and scripture

Normally I do not comment on scripture readings – that is for the professionals to do. Yet, I was thinking about The Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) and how Jesus uses Scripture.

And my conclusion? Jesus uses Scripture to allow God to speak, and the devil uses Scripture to validate himself. The temptation is to use the holy for selfish means. The temptation is to not allow the holy to transform me.

Maybe a little simplistic (like me). Yet I find it a helpful way to think about how I use Scripture. Scripture does not exist in isolation from the hearer. Proof texting without context ignores the reader.

Anyway …

… today, yesterday, right, and wrong

What we do today is ruled not by the past but by the adaptation of tradition to the needs of the present. History can only help us decide what the essentials of that tradition are, and the parameters of its adaption.

The Liturgy of the Hours in East and West, xv

I am reading Taft’s chapter on Egyptian monasticism and noticed that I marked this passage in the Introduction. The mindset that asks, “Why is what was right now wrong?”, is a temptation for me. Maybe even for others?

So two ways: the past is always right; the present is always right. Either way the word “Tradition” becomes a battle cry. Both miss that Tradition, like experience, can be used both as a verb and as a noun. It is a living Tradition, for me, that is important. (And, please, do not get me started on the Scripture vs Tradition debate!!!!)

Jesus speaks of the good scribe (Matthew 13). Words to think about.

Anyway …