Author: a fool

All alone with Jesus

holiness and mission

I have been reading The Mystic Way of Evangelism. It is an interesting read with much to think about – much more than I had first assumed. The book takes a wider view of mysticism than other books I have read. I have been exposed to the thoughts of individuals that I had not previously encountered. And that is always a good thing!

Last night I was thinking about how, in the mystics (and maybe modern-day “charismatics”) there is a real connection between a desire for holiness – oneness with Jesus – and the proclamation of Jesus to the world. In the history of the church movements have arisen that connect this desire with mission – mysticism, pietism, charismatic movement. Holiness and discipleship are intimately related to mission and witness.

There is no holiness without mission, no discipleship without witness. We cannot put discipleship in one box and have mission in another. Or have witness in one and holiness in another. These areas of the Christian life are not mutually exclusive – they are intimately related. A person set apart for God will reach out to people with the good news of Jesus. A disciple of Jesus will follow Jesus and witness to Him with their life.

I have been thinking that rather than a plan for mission, parishes should have a plan for discipleship that includes a plan for outreach. A plan for holiness that reaches out into the world. People transformed to transform people. To sound terribly judgemental, people need to understand that Jesus changes them and this relationship is not a private matter without consequences.

Transformed people ready to transform people.

Psalm 62

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
    from him comes my salvation.

Psalm 62:1

I wait in silence! I wait for God to “do His thing” in silence. This is not about me, it is about Jesus. Just shut up and let God be God – let Jesus reign in glory. Stop telling God what to do and just watch for Him in silence.

the new and the old …

Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.” Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things? “Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen; yet you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. “Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 3:1-17

This week’s gospel is the visit of Nicodemus to Jesus. It has a number of themes: authority, spiritual vs physical, faith. But yet again it illustrates that in Jesus there is a radical change. Authority is with Him and He is the continuation of Israel. No longer is the relationship by birth but it is now a relationship “from above” – a relationship in faith.

Somehow I feel I am repeating myself!

Jesus Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Jesus Prayer

I have been meaning to write about the Jesus Prayer. A couple of books I have been reading have reminded me that it used to be part of my devotional life. I have two prayer ropes that I find very helpful. As an aside, the prayer ropes have helped me with my depression. In the darkest moment just holding one is like a prayer for me. I know that does not work for everyone but it really has helped me.

The Jesus Prayer is often associated with Orthodox spirituality. I guess the Roman Catholic equivalent is the Rosary. In essence, it is the repeating of the name “Jesus” while controlling your breathing. The longer form can be used with one breath – inhaling on the first part and exhaling on the second. Now, from experience, allow it to be a natural breath otherwise you will get all light-headed.

One of the books that I have been reading has been the Ancrene Wisse – a rule of Anchorites. It recommends using the Jesus Prayer while getting ready in the morning. I have used it when I cannot sleep or when I am really stressed. But, since reading the book, I like using it in the morning while I get ready. I like the simplicity.

Anyone use it in their devotional life? Anyone have a prayer rope?

Psalm 56

You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your record?

Psalm 56:8

One of the psalms for Morning Prayer today was Psalm 56. My life gives context to the psalms I pray during Morning and Evening Prayer. They become my prayer. I am always struck by how the psalms are extremely human – they embrace the whole of human experience, including a life with depression and anxiety.

Verse 8 really struck me as appropriate to my life at the moment. In uncertain and complicated situations God is present. I can try to control things – I can work through the millions of options. And God knows how stressful life can be. Yet, the good news is that God is not distant or removed from my life. He is right in the midst of it. In fact, He is “in me”. The intimacy of the relationship is echoed again and again in the psalms. God is right there in my stress and tears.

I needed to hear that today.

borrowed time …

I was thinking this morning that my depression this year has moved with the liturgical seasons. I really struggled during Lent. I had a very major depressive episode on Holy Saturday. But it all lifted on Easter Sunday and this Easter season has been very fruitful for me.

Today is Pentecost – the celebration of the Advocate that reminds me of Jesus. The above song woke me this morning. Somehow by Providence. Yes, regret and shame. But today is my day of salvation – today is Jesus’ day!!!! Love is still the same as it was when the Holy Spirit descended on the apostles all gathered in one place.

Come Holy Spirit! May you have a blessed celebration of Pentecost and may the Holy Spirit always strengthen you in faith towards Jesus.

loved by Jesus

I saw this on Instagram and instantly thought of the Merton quote: “who am I? I am loved by Christ”.

The above do not define me unless I allow them to define me. And they all call me to turn to Jesus and simply receive His love. I always have a choice to wear the mask that I am given by others or simply to be me.

I follow a number of “depression” themed Instagram pages. They are often extremely helpful. They echo what my counsellor says to me. But it is good to be reminded everyday. Of course, what my counsellor adds is Jesus. And I am thankful to have a faithful Christian who gives me guidance.

the desert within

I have been reading a book for Benedictine Oblates. It has an article on “Solitude” that I think is very good.

The article makes the point that God has often dealt His people through the desert. Jesus went into the desert after His baptism. And, of course, John the Baptist lived in the desert.

Yet the most interesting point I think the article makes is that the “true desert” (what a terrible term) is within. That point inside of each one of us where we confront the Transcendent. I want to explore that more. (And, maybe, next time share some quotes from the article.)

I have also been reading a book on Julian of Norwich that I just cannot put down.