Today is moving day. The “experiment” is becoming more permanent. The parish I attend has “confirmed my vocation” (if that is right) and I am testing my calling to the solitary life in a house provided by the parish. The parish has renamed the house “The Anchorage” and I am to be prayed for this Sunday.

It feels completely weird to be affirmed in that way. It is a way out vocation that few even know about in the modern church. But a vocation that is fostered and encouraged by the leadership of the parish, especially the clergy. And, to make this even weirder, in a parish that some consider to be charismatic.

Yet a parish that is an example of the church of tomorrow – no churchman allegiances or partisan politics. A parish in which the sign of the cross is as much at home as the raising of hands in prayer. A parish that is not huge (yet) but strong in Jesus. I am constantly amazed at how God works in these people. It makes me feel humbled that I can be part of it in a very small way.

So I am packing up my books, going to pick up some furniture, and then packing the car and moving.

I have tried to write this post four times. I got pretty far yesterday but then decided to delete it. So I will try again …

I feel overwhelmed and excited at the same time. There is major change coming in the next 6 days. Most has been a lot of work for faithful people who have sacrificed their time and energy for me. I am never sure why people would do that for me and I am never sure how I can ever thank them.

So a few random observations: I am part of a Christian community that is so (read SOOOOOOOOO) different from anything I have ever experienced. Maybe not what I wanted but most certainly what I needed!!!! Yet the fact that I am part of a community that embodies the multiple dimensions of both the Body of Christ and Anglicanism gives me hope. The community is willing to try different things (even my crazy ideas) and is motivated by love of neighbour.

I am so excited about the future of this community. Struggle, yes! I do not agree with everyone (or anyone) but I need not agree with people to love them. In the past, I adopted positions to please other people. I will try to throw my ideas into the pot but I am not the final cook – sorry, that is the worst metaphor ever.

Within this community, I think (I believe) I have a vocation. Somewhat a strange one but things have worked out in a way that I cannot but see the hand of God. And again, I have hope for the future. I am hesitant to share the particulars of that vocation – yet, again, I am fearful of what other people will think and what other people will assume.

So there you have it! I needed to write this down for myself. I needed to put it “out there”.

Let us also build in our heart, and make a house into which He may come and teach us, and have converse with us.

Augustine, Tractate 7 (John 1:34-51)

Bishops and Religious 1897-1914

Just wanted to share the above! A good article with some interesting questions.

I wanted to share this: Brother Walter. Fr Pat Shaw is mentioned in Yelton’s book on Fr Hope Patten and so is the anchorhold – which is, somewhat weirdly, called an “anchor hold”. The page also mentions another Anglican anchorite.

BTW: I do not like the distinction that is made between anchorites and anchoresses. Both genders live the one life devoted to Jesus.

Today is my last full day of the “experiment”. What have I learned? That nothing is certain and sometimes I just have to leap in. I can plan, and read, and write. I can wait until I am sure. But in the end, I simply need to leap into the arms of Jesus!

This “experiment” has given me a framework. It has given me “firsthand experience”. In a context that is extremely comfortable! To be honest, I think the last five weeks have been so beyond magnificent that I can hardly believe that I have lived alone for that long. I see everything with new eyes, especially when I return to the faith community that nurtures me. I have a much stronger sense of who I am and I have no need to pretend.

So, I would like to make this “experiment” more permanent. Yes, I have a vocation to the solitary life. And, yes, I have a vocation to “sharing” that life with others. I am not sure what that will look like or if it will include “vows”.

I got some chocolate today at the shops to celebrate these five weeks. I am sad to go but I am very excited for tomorrow.

I slept past my alarm! That is the first time during this “experiment”. So I missed the sun rise this morning.

Prayer and meditation! I have struggled with meditation for the last couple of days – my head is all over the place. I have been thinking a lot about the future.

I have been reading a book about Fr Hope Patten. It is so Anglican! I love the “catholic heritage” of Anglicanism. The book often gives me a “laugh out loud” moment.

Jesus be with you!

Here is an interesting link to the anchoresses at the Shrine at Walsingham.

Normal start to the day. I am going to miss this time of silence and solitude to pray.

Yesterday I was reading about “vows” from an Anglican religious perspective. The author made the point that it includes “accountability”. In the anchorite tradition this is through a confessor. In a modern context it is through the ministry of a spiritual director and the bishop.

All the anchorite guidance literature speaks at length about confession and penance. While it speaks of the sacrament, and the obedience due to the priest, it is speaking about being accountable to someone for your actions. Yes, in the end that is God. But I am answerable now to the people into who’s care God has placed me.

So I have been thinking about the ministry of a confessor and spiritual director. They need not be the same person and there is no need to make their ministry into a fetish. (I think the ministry of the confessor in the medieval literature is a fetish – blind obedience with mechanical impassive use of the sacrament grace.)

Anyway, I have been thinking about that this morning. Jesus be with you!