While exploring a vocation to the solitary life, I am not alone. I have a house guest: Fred the Rabbit. Anchorites had cats, and I have a rabbit.
While he does not like to be touched, he does follow me round most of the time. He sleeps under my bed and sits under the kneeler when I pray. He has his own room and is “house-trained”. He runs to the door when I come home.
So say hello to Fred!
Describe your most ideal day from begining to end.
I check these prompts every morning. Most days I simply pass – I have no desire to write about death or such. Yet today I thought I would answer. My perfect day is the day I am living right now. It is early in the morning so I will describe yesterday with the same structure as today:
I got up early (before 5am) and meditated and prayed. Well, actually I made my bed and a pot of tea and then Morning Prayer and some personal prayer. I had to pay some bills online, which I did. Then had a coffee at my favourite coffee shop. I always take a book – a theme that will reappear – and I sat for about half an hour, read and enjoyed my almond latte.
[Yesterday, on the way home, I rang my mother. My dad has been sick so I just wanted to get an update. I also went into the office to do something on the parish computer. I was by myself so it was pleasant enough. And the office is next door!]
When I came home I did some domestic stuff – vacuumed then the dishes which had been pilling up in the sink. After that I settled at my desk and read an article that I have been working through on the early history of SSJE and the mission movement in the late 1900s. Super article! The postie delivered a new book, Merrily on High, that I instantly sat down and started reading. It made me laugh!
I worked a little on this blog. I created a page for all the Anglican Solitaries about which I have read. More for me than anyone else.
I had half a salad before Midday Prayer. I usually use Midday Prayer to meditate a little more and to intercede for people. Then a rest! I normally have complete silence from Midday Prayer to Evening Prayer but I listened to an audiobook on the Waco siege that was recommended to me. But I fell asleep and missed a chapter or two.
I was woken by a phone call. Rather than being intrusive, which I often feel these are, it was pleasant and non-confrontational and required no action from me.
Then more reading – the same book as at the coffee shop. I sat outside on the little porch for a little while as I read. Evening Prayer is relatively early – 3pm – but it works for me. After Evening Prayer I just sat for a little and watched Fred the Rabbit run around the day room.
I had a visit from a friend who called earlier. He listened to me complain and encouraged me to keep going.
Then the second half of the salad, a shower, read a little more, and then Compline and bed. I watched a little TV in bed – an indulgence to my weaker self and I am hooked on Chicago PD – but fell asleep pretty quickly.
I have settled into that routine and it really suits me. Prayer, meditation, and reading. I like being alone and having the space to be “me”, I like the silence of the early morning and watching the sunrise. So my perfect day!
I just wanted to check the AI block that WordPress introduced. So the above, as it says, is a “hermit in the forest”.
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
I do like cooking. And, if I have a choice, I like to cook pasta. Creamy sauces do not agree with my stomach – I am lactose intolerant. But every other pasta is okay with me.
So spaghetti bolognese or any gnocchi with a spicy sauce. I like cooking those because I like eating them. Actually writing this makes me hungry for some.
Today is 100 days in The Anchorage. It has been strange at times. And often I wonder what I am doing here. But it has been spiritually rewarding. Mass today was magnificent with a great sermon. And Jesus is present!!!!!
The image above is a crucifix that I have carried with me.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
What is “leisure time”? The absolute beauty of my life is that it is filled with the luxury of silence. Not silence in the absence of noise. But silence is a personal choice to be in the presence of Jesus. So everything I do is done in the presence of Jesus – in the luxury of silence.
The solitary life – however it is defined – is about that luxury. It is the presence of Jesus.
He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent.
Augustine of Hippo
I struggle with feeling I need to justify my existence. In the process, I give power to other people – other people influence and change the way I act and the choices I make.
God, who created me, has made a choice for me to exist. That is love. No justification (of my existence) is needed!
I know this will be the first of many but, yes, crisis time: what on earth am I doing here? It has only taken 96 days.
I am peopled-out – I have had meetings that have overloaded me. I am trying to find silence (and prayer) between meetings rather than trying to fit the meetings into the time I have between silence (and prayer). I have had no time to sit. And when I sit, I think about the meetings or what I need to do. I am not sleeping well, maybe due to the weather. Nightmares and weird vivid dreams. I have had way too much sugar and am not eating well.
I would like a certain amount of anonymity but my ego is so big that I also would like a certain amount of fame. Or, in a less negative way, what if God has given me something to say? Experience teaches me that periods of depression are connected with deep insights. And that is happening.
So there you have it: my solitary life.
What’s your dream job?
Oh wow! This one I will answer. As Fat Boy Slim said, “Right here and right now”.
I am very happy where I am right now. I am not sure if it is a job or a calling?! But my life at the moment is pretty great. For the first time in my life, I am not waiting for a better day or waiting on another person. I am simply me right now.
I am trying to be content with “right now”. Sometimes I long for a past that I cannot make into a present; sometimes I wish for a future that is not yet nor may ever be. The reality is that I am still working on my mental health, my relationships, and my sense of “me”. But I have a context. Kierkegaard considers monasticism an “existential stance” – I guess that about says it all.
In what ways do you communicate online?
To be honest, I am a social media “watcher”. I like to see what other people are doing rather than “do” myself. I have Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. But I watch more than I add to the conversation. And, TikTok makes me laugh!
I have this blog. It is more like a journal than any attempt to communicate. The blog itself – the “stuff” behind the scene – serves a purpose in my life rather than the “information” (what does that mean?) that it communicates. BTW: I have changed the URL of the blog!
I am, however, planning a podcast: now what? Once I get over my self-doubt and confusion – should someone claiming to live a solitary life have a podcast? – I hope to record regularly. I have nothing to say but I think that the process itself will be helpful for me.
So there you have it!
this solitary life 