Category: Personal

life?

~ a solitary ~ Leave a comment

So … again … I have not posted for a week or so. I have been asked to leave my current house, so I have packed my books, clothes, and furniture (three kneelers). I knew it was coming. But I cannot help but be disappointed. I am blessed to have a place to which I can move and the love and care of a parent. Plans are set!

Today is a day of rest. Emotionally, this is all too much for me. People are a disappointment. Maybe not people, but the idea that an institution is above an individual!? Conform!!!

I am reading Nietzsche. A strange mixture (for me) of the reality of my life and the inspiration of madness. Whatever happened to madness? Where are the books of aphorisms? Who is speaking the ideas that are way ahead of their time?

Anyway …

time …

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Today is the celebration of The Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It is also the liturgical celebration of the anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood. (That is, the secular date is different due to moving of the feast past Holy Week and Easter that year.)

What is time? God measures time by the rising and the setting of the sun. As a person in this world – not my home – I am ruled by mechanical time. Yes, if I want the doctor to see me, I need to be at their office at a particular time. But to what extent is time simply an abstraction forced on me by my being alive? And, to what extent is it an abstraction that rules my life?

Anyway, happy anniversary to me and blessed feast to you all.

deChurched?

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… commentators distinguish between people who are un-churched (as in never had any significant contact with a church) and those who are de-churched (as in once were involved, but no more thank you very much).

Churched, Un-churched or De-churched

I used the term for the first time yesterday. It was a little of a shock to me. “Yes, I am de-churched but still in love with Jesus”.

It is a gigantic leap to say that the earthly institution we call “church” is the same as the Body of Christ. Even more that a system of thought or decisions of a particular organisation is more important than an individual person. How can any system that is above the individual be acceptable? Obedience is not simply conformity (to an external) but accountability (for my actions). My experience is valid and meaningful to me. The individual’s confession – my confession – is “Jesus is Lord”, not “Jesus and various other things are Lord”. No Jesus+ or faith+. No institution above intimacy.

Sorry, that is a brain dump that was floating in my head for some time. I am not looking for someone to agree with me (or disagree with me). This is simply where Jesus has led me. Anyway …

sewing

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Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

Glad you asked! I am learning to sew. It is completely out of my comfort zone. I sewed my first piece yesterday! You like?

ban?

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If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

To be honest, I do not like the idea of banning things. There are words I wish I did not use – “unique” or “kafkaesque”. But banning seems a little kafkaesque.

What would the punishment be? “Word goal”?

[As an aside, I like the word “kafkaesque” but it makes me sound very “unique”.]

What do words really do? Is there any meaning behind them? Or only that which we assign them within our social context?

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

Certainty

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What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

The biggest challenge is “where to from here?”. I have hit a sweet spot when it comes to my daily life – good rhythm, right interaction. I think I have found a paradigm for me in history and there is peace.

But there is never certainty. The very fact that I look for control is part of the current struggle. The desire for external consultation is the struggle.

To put it a different way: what does it mean for me that my relationship with Jesus is absolute?

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

outsider

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… the reason for Weil’s refusal of baptism that most stands out to me is perhaps the simplest: She didn’t love the church. “I love God, Christ, and the Catholic faith,” Weil writes. “I love the saints through their writings. . . . I love the six or seven Catholics of genuine spirituality whom chance has led me to meet in the course of my life. I love the Catholic liturgy, hymns, architecture, rites, and ceremonies. But I have not the slightest love for the Church in the strict sense of the word, apart from its relation to all these things that I do love.”

Simone Weil, a kindred spirit for church outsiders

me

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What do you complain about the most?

People who know me, know I do not like “me”. I can never recall a time when I did. Everything about me upsets me: my physical awkwardness, my silly voice, my overwhelming and overbearing personality, my constant chatter about nothingness. So I complain about me to me and others.

But apart from that? The weather.

eye-glasses

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Daily writing prompt
The most important invention in your lifetime is…
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… eyeglasses. I am so blessed to have reading glasses. I struggle without them. Perhaps I could do without other major inventions – the internet, air conditioning, computers, etc. – but I could not survive without being able to read.