Category: Personal

for you

Christ is no play-actor, if I may say it this soberly; neither is he a merely historical person, since as the paradox he is an extremely unhistorical person. But this is the difference between poetry and actuality: contemporaneity. The difference between poetry and history is surely this, that history is what actually happened, whereas poetry is the possible, the imagined, the poetized. But that which has actually happened (the past) is still not, except in a certain sense (namely, in contrast to poetry), the actual. The qualification that is lacking—which is the qualification of truth (as inwardness) and of all religiousness is—for you. The past is not actuality—for me. Only the contemporary is actuality for me. That with which you are living simultaneously is actuality—for you. Thus every human being is able to become contemporary only with the time in which he is living—and then with one more, with Christ’s life upon earth, for Christ’s life upon earth, the sacred history, stands alone by itself, outside history.

Practice in Christianity, 63-64 (Hong)

I have always liked this quote from Kierkegaard. Truth as inwardness being qualified by “for you”. There is a distinction between something being true and something being true for me. In a world of “objective truth” that is often missed!

stress

I have been thinking about stress. And what things trigger my stress! Often, for me, it has to do with uncertainty and sense of losing control. I get a feeling in my stomach that simply will not go away.

Currently I am sitting in the car, reading, and waiting for my parents who have gone to a medical appointment. My dad has had some health issues and I am glad I can be of serve to them. And I like that I get out of the house, especially in lockdown. The sun is out and I have music.

I am hoping to have a day of doing nothing much. Well, actually, I am hoping of doing some things that I want to do. I really want to work on my Rule of Life and I have a book I would like to read about the process. I am hoping for some clarity about things in my own mind. At the moment I feel very disempowered by the system which is not helping my mental health.

Really not much else to write!!

Mark 3:20-35

Then he went home; and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.” And he called them to him, and spoke to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but his end has come. But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property without first tying up the strong man; then indeed the house can be plundered.

“Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin” – for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.”

Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

Mark 3:20-35

We return to green this Sunday. And we continue our journey through Mark’s gospel. Mark has been speaking about Jesus’ nature and now he moves to discuss discipleship. It is a very rich text that gives plenty of room for meditation – and for preaching.

Lockdown 4.0

As of last Friday, I am again in lockdown. Actually not only me but the whole of the state of Victoria. We had online church yesterday. We have now done it so often it has a feeling of normality. Nothing stops the people of God from worshipping – even from watching The Chosen.

During lockdown, I have been watching more TV than normal. So I thought I would share some of the shows that I have been marathoning:

  • Sex in the City – brain on neutral stuff
  • Wild Wild Country – I absolutely love cults and this is really good – well produced.
  • Heaven’s Gate: The Cult of Cults – I think Heaven’s Gate really illustrates that a cult is the opposite of the single individual. This is really good because it includes people who were part of the cult and continue to believe.
  • Westworld – season 3 as I have seen the first two
  • Versailles – only because I am amazed people dressed like that
  • Batman Begins – I have been listening to the soundtrack while working

There might be some I have forgotten. I might do another post for books which is much more interesting.

sleep …

I did not sleep well. I had nightmares all night. And they were extremely vivid. I was having an argument with someone – maybe a discussion I should have in real life. The people in my dream were people who have hurt me or supported me recently.

Sleep for me is a “hit and miss” endeavour. Sometimes I can sleep really well but often I have vivid nightmares that leave me emotionally exhausted when I wake. I have woken with tears on my pillow. The dreams often follow me into my day. And the dream becomes part of my reality.

So I will try to be me today even with the emotional weight of the nightmare. I will try to simply be!

hearts on fire

What is the goal of Christian mission? I sometimes feel that some mission activity is more about being validated. Or, and much much worse, the objectification of individuals as “bums on seats”. Without a clear aim, how can Christianity reach out for Jesus?

Maybe mission is about providing people with information about Jesus? Logical, rational, and apologetic discussion on Jesus. And individuals, based on that information, make a decision to follow Jesus or not. I have information about a number of topics, none of which make any difference in my life. If the information does not change me, does not challenge me to change, is that information really the goal of mission? Yes, information is part of the process but it is not the end.

I think the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24) is a good example of what Christianity should aim for in mission: an experience of Jesus. After the two travelled with Jesus, talked to Him, and even had “communion” with Him, their experience is much deeper than any of those things:

Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?”

Luke 24:31-32

What does the “Jesus experience” feel like? “Our hearts burning within us”. An experience that transcends words and even emotions. A mystical experience of the presence of the Eternal in Jesus:

One definition is that a mystical experience is one in which you feel filled with God’s presence in an intense and unmistakable way. Or you feel “lifted up” from the normal way of seeing things. Or you are simply overwhelmed with the sense of God in a way that seems to transcend your own understanding. …

Needless to say, these experiences are hard to put into words. It’s the same as trying to describe the first time you fell in love, or held your newborn child in your arms, or saw the ocean for the first time. But just because they are difficult to explain doesn’t mean that they’re not real, or authentic.

Everyday Mysticism

The problem, for the modern mind, is that an experience can not be quantified. But that is the paradox of Christianity and faith in Jesus. It is about a life more than information. It is about an experience that transforms me and the way I see the world around me.