… eyeglasses. I am so blessed to have reading glasses. I struggle without them. Perhaps I could do without other major inventions – the internet, air conditioning, computers, etc. – but I could not survive without being able to read.
Tag: dailyprompt
be me
I do not use “to-do lists”. I have never used them. But the one item I know will never get done is “be me”. Or maybe, “stop wearing masks”. I am unsure why but I know I hide and censor “me”. Perhaps life has taught me to be more like everyone else? Maybe life has taught me that no one will like “me”? So masks it is – pretending and play-acting something that I am not.
cat!
My first computer was a Dick Smith’s Cat. I started with a tape drive but later got a floppy disk drive – the big one. It was a cool computer to start with and it taught me lots about computing. It had Basic installed so I learned to program. And, if I remember right, I wrote a “V” game with sound.
leave
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
Leave my current context! I know I should, I have been told by people I trust that I need to, and my heart says that this is no longer home. But it is so difficult for me to even think about it.
I say that I will when someone else acts. But it should be me. I have outstayed my welcome and really need to move on.
But …
read and dance
I want to say, sleep. But that is a little boring and, in my case, predictable.
I read Kafka’s The Castle – that was super fun. It made me laugh, wonder, and cry. It was an escape into a different world that is a lot like my world. Also I watched Veep – that always makes me laugh. Especially when Gary goes to a vegan dinner and asks how many beans are in the soup. And it is good for my anxiety as I have watched it so often.
Play?! I danced to very loud techno, with my headphones on so no one could hear, in my dark room so no one could see, and with my eyes closed so I could feel the beat.
maybe?!
I don’t remember what I thought a year ago, but I think the answer is “no.” There have been many changes this year, some easier and some unexpected. If there was perfect future vision, what would life be like?
The reality is that I live now. I feel stable and balanced. Yes, I could be doing better, but I could also be doing a lot worse.
everything
Everything! I have never liked “me”. I would not say I hate me, but I do not like me. If I were to meet me, I would most likely think I am aloof, prickly, and just plain weird. I am also socially and physically awkward, like to rant about completely random stuff, and am a poor dresser. I should say that I am working on it, but that would be a lie.
morning!
I am most definitely a morning person. I like to get up early, before sunrise, and enjoy the silence and solitude. I do all meaningful writing, thinking, and praying in the morning. It is also cooler in the morning, which I prefer. If I interact with people, it has to be in the morning. Medical appointments and shopping are for the morning.
I am no good after 3 p.m. My mind simply stops working. I like to relax by reading novels or listening to audiobooks. Sometimes I watch a little TV. No people after 3 p.m.! In fact, I use the “screen time” on my phone to limit access after that time. And I go to bed early – with the sunset in winter and a little before in the summer.
scapular
My absolute favourite thing to wear is my scapular. It reminds me that I carry Jesus everywhere I go, and perhaps much more importantly, it reminds me that Jesus is with me always. It is not an Anglican thing to do and often confuses people, but it is meaningful to me. I also like to wear “suspenders.” Since I have no hips, they keep my pants from falling down. See picture!!!
phone!
Have you ever wondered what we did when we only had “landlines”? How did we survive? And before that, when people communicated by hand-written letter? And, guess what, we survived.
So, what technology would I be better off without? My “smartphone”! It serves no purpose. I do not receive calls, texts, DMs, or iMessages from anyone. Yet, somehow, I feel I should carry it everywhere with me. And check! Check if someone has emailed. I listen to music, but I could do that a different way. I spend way too much time looking for it or worrying about it.
a fool and his prayer book 