a fool

madness

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
Friedrich Nietzsche

epithet?

…, the obscure.

…, the grumpy.

…, the weird (or strange).

…, the weeping solitary.

memories …

Where are my memories when I am not using them?

And how do I know what to remember when?

it is over …

The Anchorage experiment is over. There is no room in the modern Anglican Church of Australia for the solitary life. All about survival, so all about money.

right now

I am sitting on the porch (for the last time?!), drinking a beer before noon, reading Nietzsche, lamenting my broken toe. How is your day?

So … again … I have not posted for a week or so. I have been asked to leave my current house, so I have packed my books, clothes, and furniture (three kneelers). I knew it was coming. But I cannot help but be disappointed. I am blessed to have a place to which I can move and the love and care of a parent. Plans are set!

Today is a day of rest. Emotionally, this is all too much for me. People are a disappointment. Maybe not people, but the idea that an institution is above an individual!? Conform!!!

I am reading Nietzsche. A strange mixture (for me) of the reality of my life and the inspiration of madness. Whatever happened to madness? Where are the books of aphorisms? Who is speaking the ideas that are way ahead of their time?

Anyway …

Fourde’s Remains

I have been coming to a resolution that, as soon as I am out of reach of observation, I will begin a sort of monastic austere life, and do my best to chastise myself before the Lord. That I will attend chapel regularly, eat little and plainly, drink as little wine as I can consistently with the forms of society: keep the fasts of the Church as much as I can without ostentation: continue to get up at six in the winter: abstain from all unnecessary expenses in every thing: give all the money I can save in charity, or for the adorning of religion. . . . I will avoid society as much as I can. . . . I will avoid all conversation on serious subjects . . . and content myself with exercising dominion over my own mind, without trying to influence others. (25–26)
quoted in
Reforming the Monastery

time …

Today is the celebration of The Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It is also the liturgical celebration of the anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood. (That is, the secular date is different due to moving of the feast past Holy Week and Easter that year.)

What is time? God measures time by the rising and the setting of the sun. As a person in this world – not my home – I am ruled by mechanical time. Yes, if I want the doctor to see me, I need to be at their office at a particular time. But to what extent is time simply an abstraction forced on me by my being alive? And, to what extent is it an abstraction that rules my life?

Anyway, happy anniversary to me and blessed feast to you all.

… with my books

I do not need the money – I do it for free. Can I bring my books? BCP!

… for me

And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on him for the saying of the woman, which testified, He told me all that ever I did. So when the Samaritans were come unto him, they besought him that he would tarry with them: and he abode there two days. And many more believed because of his own word; And said unto the woman, Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.
John 4:39-42