Category: Personal

Enneagram Type Nine

I watched a series yesterday about “Becoming a Mystic”. Maybe a better title would be “How to live more like a follower of Jesus”? One of the things suggested is to do the hard work of self-discovery. (Like, for example, live like an anchorite for a time and read lots of books.) So this morning, in an attempt to meet “me”, I did the Enneagram test, which I have not done previously, and I am Type Nine.

Now all of that means nothing to me. So I went where I normally go for insight, Amazon. I found some books that I can read for some more insight. I even found one that discusses vocation.

So there you go!

interior penance?

1430 Jesus’ call to conversion and penance, like that of the prophets before him, does not aim first at outward works, “sackcloth and ashes,” fasting and mortification, but at the conversion of the heart, interior conversion. Without this, such penances remain sterile and false; however, interior conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures and works of penance.

1431 Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus (affliction of spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of heart)

Catechism of the Catholic Church

There is so much of the above to think about and meditate on. I like that penitence is interior looking for an external sign. So, being Anglican, “all may, some should, none most”. The importance is the conversion of the heart – the wholehearted turning to Jesus.

I have created a PDF for the Common Worship “The Reconciliation of a Penitent” which I think should work for Anglicans. I like that the Common Worship order has an Act of Contrition which is not there in other orders. (Happy to be corrected!)

in case …

I have been producing a podcast for the Anglican Renewal Network Australia.

In case you feel like giving it a listen:

30 June – Day 5 – Anglican Renewal Network Australia

Rev Trish Stuart-Smith finishes the podcast for this year. Text: Holy Spirit and drawing us near.
  1. 30 June – Day 5
  2. 29 June – Day 4
  3. 28 June – Day 3
  4. 27 June – Day 2
  5. 26 June – Holy Spirit and drawing us near.

Surrender to Jesus

Lord Jesus Christ,
I surrender today to you.

I give myself to you as a living sacrifice,
my soul and body,
my entire being.

I give to you all my thoughts, words and deeds,
all my sufferings and labours,
all my hopes and joys.
Above all, I give to you my heart
so that I may love only you
and be consumed in the fire of your love.

I place my trust in your infinite mercy.
I place within your hands all my cares and anxieties.
And I promise you my love and service.

Do with me what you will, my Jesus.
I desire only you.

Heart of Jesus, I surrender myself to you,
be my everything.

feelings?

Sometimes I reflect on the many things that I have heard in sermons throughout the years. For me, that includes some time in seminary.

So, I have been wondering:

Why can I not trust my feelings but I can trust my reasoning?

I cannot recall how many times I have been told that my feelings are untrustworthy but my reasoning I can trust. (And let’s assume that hermeneutics is a form of reasoning.) But how realistic is that? Or, maybe more importantly, how human is that?

Happy to read any answers!

Kierkegaard, The Point of View

Every more earnest person who knows what upbuilding is, everyone, whatever else he or she is, high or low, wise or simple, male or female, anyone who has ever felt built up and felt God as very present, will certainly agree with me unconditionally that it is impossible to build up or to be built up en masse, even more impossible than to “fall in love en quatre [in fours]” or en mass