Category: Personal

compassionate Jesus

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. … When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

I am always struck by how compassionate Jesus is in the gospels. Much more than me. It is something I aim to be but often fail. So, Lord, help me to be more like You!!!

personal mission statement

I have been thinking about a personal mission statement. Something that will focus my life going forward. Not easy! I want to keep it short and general but focused. So I have started with this: I want to follow Jesus in sacrificial love.

I want to follow Jesus in sacrificial love.

I think I should make that fuller in my own mind, but it is a good starting point. If I make it too wordy and complex I will get lost in the details. So here is my starting point.

Do you have a personal mission statement?

rule of life?

I have been thinking more and more about updating my Rule of Life. I have read a couple of books. But most of all I think I have found a vocation. I am not ready to share it yet but it is pretty strong at the moment.

So, I found the blog for one of the books I have been reading, Crafting a Rule of Life. I have been trying to find a PDF of the rule template so that I can work on it. But no luck so far!

I was wondering: do you have a formal rule of life you follow? I mean one that is worked out and written down? Most people have a rhythm to their spiritual life. But have you sat down and wrote it down?

Anyway, Day 99!

life changes so fast

I never used to get those “Trigger Warning” starts to social media posts. Yet, recently, I have become more aware of triggers in my life. And I finally get the warning. When I am alone I am better but various people and contexts trigger me in various ways. Mostly they make me doubt myself, feel anxious, and then depressed. Of course, that is the start of it.

So now I have a problem: I know the trigger so should I avoid the people and contexts? Or should I simply be aware that the trigger is on the way? Should I simply prepare for the trigger and hope for the best?

I know I need to stand up for myself – say things that I need to be said. I need to be open about triggers and open to people that trigger me. And not be defensive about being triggered. But I feel I have hurt someone whom I care about by being triggered. It is not personal but it makes it hard for me to be around that person.

My past has made me hypervigilant – I am always on the look out for being a disappointment and a burden to people. I read too much into people’s words and actions, and I need to stop double guessing every situation. The double guessing triggers me! I do feel the normal reaction people have to me is disappointment.

Today has been an interesting day. I read some spirituality that I really needed to read. It has put me on an interesting path. I spent time with some nice people. But I have also had to face a major trigger and now I am struggling.

Anyway, I pray your day has been good.

thinking and reading

I have spent the day thinking and reading. I have found an online book store, Grove Books, that has some interesting books on various topics. So on with the reading!

I think I have come to some conclusions about my life. Not sure if they will work out or even make sense to anyone else. But it is a context for me to explore more fully. More to come!

I have been posting for 97 days straight. So I will (hopefully) make it to 100 this week.

witnesses

I am always struck by other people’s faith. I feel my own is so small and limited – often more intellectualised than real – that I often envy how other people experience Jesus. I guess it is always easier looking in from the outside. And people tell you what they want you to hear. But I have seen real faith in my life – people living sacrificial love for Jesus and their neighbour.

But this morning it struck me: all these people are sent to me as a witness. A witness of what it means to follow Jesus. A witness of faithfulness. Not that they are better than me – which, of course, they are. But rather that I am not alone in this journey. I am not walking by myself. Yes, in the end, I give account for my life alone before the throne of grace. But at this very moment in time, I am given the strength of witnesses to Jesus.