So, I tested again this morning, and I am all clear. Back to normal – or not!?
I said Morning Prayer from the Book of Common Prayer this morning in my chapel. I forgot how meaningful (to me!) the words and actions are. A very blessed start to the day. No insight – apart from the Melbourne Stars are a really bad T20 side. I will need to shop today for some food, but I might wait.
Blessed Feast of S. Thomas, Ember Saturday in Advent, and Summer Solstice.
STIR up, we beseech thee, O Lord, thy power, and come among us: that we, who put our trust and confidence in thy mercy, may speedily be delivered from all our adversities; who livest and reignest with the Father, in the unity of the Holy Ghost, ever one God, world without end. Amen.
A day of fasting and abstinence in the BCP.
Day 6, and I think I am back to normal – whatever that may mean. I am unsure what I did yesterday – did I read or dance? Anyway, here is a thought for the day.
During this version of a COVID lockdown, I learned that I have an issue with “the church” as a whole and not individuals. Yes, that sounds like Kierkegaard and maybe he is the driving force in my thinking. And the problem is not the institution but rather the emphasis people place on the institution. The modern church has replaced the individual before God with a collection of congregational members called to follow a faceless organisation. There is no accountability to God for my actions but rather an urging to conform. In more philosophical terms, I wonder if the modern world, post-scientific revolution, is stuck in actuality. And the institution of the “church” is living without hope.
Anyway! Maybe a fever-induced hallucination?
I want to say, sleep. But that is a little boring and, in my case, predictable.
I read Kafka’s The Castle – that was super fun. It made me laugh, wonder, and cry. It was an escape into a different world that is a lot like my world. Also I watched Veep – that always makes me laugh. Especially when Gary goes to a vegan dinner and asks how many beans are in the soup. And it is good for my anxiety as I have watched it so often.
Play?! I danced to very loud techno, with my headphones on so no one could hear, in my dark room so no one could see, and with my eyes closed so I could feel the beat.
What to do with your old 1662 BCP that your grandfather used? Or, that BCP that was gifted at your confirmation?
With the change in worship books among Anglicans, I am seeing more BCPs in Op Shops. That is a shame! For a past generation, these were their daily spiritual food – they were daily prayer. More, old Prayer Books are often dedicated to someone as a gift. That makes me feel sad!! Yes, maybe these people have given up on the worship of God, but the people of God have not stopped praying for them.
Well, do not throw your old Prayer Books away! Do not recycle them! Do not take them to the Op Shop to be sold for 20 cents – yes, I paid that much for one. See my new Prayer Book Project. Send me your old Prayer Books and I will pray for the person to whom it is gifted. Or I will pray for a person whom you want to be remembered. Or I will pray for you.
I am feeling better! I spent too much time on the phone yesterday – settling things for next year. So I am hoping for a relaxed day.
I like being alone. I like the freedom. So, this COVID isolation is a freedom for me. It is the lesson for this all – sometimes, things just happen for the best, even when I think it is terrible. (Sorry, that is very fatalistic – amor fati.)
I read a little yesterday – The Hammer of God by Giertz and English Spirituality by Thornton. The Hammer of God is a novel to which I am returning. Every time I pick a new side. Thornton is quickly becoming my favourite Anglican author, who has put some of my thinking into a larger context. (Also, I think his analysis of the Anglican context is very apt.)
Anyway …
At the time Thornton wrote his book, Anglican laity regularly complained that the clergy of the day were not properly equipped to give their flocks “serious personal guidance” in matters of the faith. Lay people believed their parish priests were “excellent and dedicated men, but they were uninterested, or frankly incompetent,” in this kind of work.
The Ascetical Theology of Augustine and the Book of Common Prayer, Mike Michelin
Today?
I am somewhat obsessed with the Ember Days. In the Book of Common Prayer (1662), the Advent ember days are the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after S. Lucy Day (13 December). These are listed as days of fasting and abstinence. And:
Then the Curate shall declare unto the people what Holy-days, or Fasting-days, are in the week following to be observed. And then also (if occasion be) shall notice be given of the Communion; and Briefs, Citations, and Excommunications read.
Excommunications! Wow! That would be interesting. Anyway, here is the Collect from the Book of Divine Worship (which, I think, is also the Collect in The English Missal)::
GRANT, we beseech thee, Almighty God: that the coming festival of our redemption may obtain for us the comfort of thy succour in this life, and in the life to come the reward of eternal felicity; through Jesus Christ thy Son our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee, in the unity of the Holy Ghost, ever one God, world without end. Amen.
Another day, another sleep. If only there was an Olympic medal for sleeping.
I did read more of The Castle, a little of The Five Wounds of Jesus by Williams, and I had a really good browse through the St Gegory Prayer Book. I had all these crazy insights that I have since forgotten. Forgetting! It is an interesting topic. S. Augustine speaks of it in The Confessions. The fact that I can remember not remembering.Perhaps just losing my mind?!
I ate yesterday – a major step forward. I made arrangements for next year. And I did manage to catch a little of the cricket between naps.
One night the devil appeared to St Martin [of Tours] crowned with gold and gems, and in a magnificent vestment sparkling with jewels. ‘I am come in judgement’, he said, ‘Adore me.’ ‘Where’, asked Martin, ‘are the mark of the nails, the piercing of the spear, the crown of thorns? When I see the marks of the Passion I shall adore the Lord’. The devil disappeared.
a fool and his prayer book 