The difference remains, however, and is between being, or at least striving to be, what one admires—and being personally detached. Let us now completely forget this danger connected with confessing Christ and think rather of the danger of actuality that is inescapably bound up with being Christian. Does not Christian teaching about ethics and obligation, Christianity’s requirement to die to the world, to surrender the earthly, its requirement of self-denial, does this not contain enough requirements—if they were to be obeyed—to produce the danger of actuality that makes manifest the difference between an admirer and an imitator, makes it manifest precisely in this way, that the imitator has his life in these dangers and the admirer personally remains detached although they both are nevertheless united in acknowledging in words the truth of Christianity? Thus the difference still remains. The admirer will make no sacrifices, renounce nothing, give up nothing earthly, will not transform his life, will not be what is admired, will not let his life express it—but in words, phrases, assurances he is inexhaustible about how highly he prizes Christianity.
Practice in Christianity
Author: a fool
All alone with Jesus
waiting
I am not sure if it is a “goal” or simply a way of living. The book of Psalms says, “Wait in hope for the Lord.” That is my goal – to wait. I desire closer communion with Jesus. Yet, there is nothing I can do to merit such a gift – absolutely nothing. So I wait in hope. In other words, “for God all things are possible.” I desire the possibility of God.
It seems paradoxical that I do nothing (in hope) to achieve the goal I desire. Maybe one day!
… truth for him
Johnny thinks the world would be right
If it could buy the truth from him
Mary says he changes his mind
More than a woman
But she made her bed
Even when the chance was slim
So wondering: “…the truth from him” is absurdist?
writers?
I have a whole collection of favourite writers. And they change. At the moment, I am happy with anything by or about Soren Kierkegaard. A love affair that has been going on for some time. I find new things in his writing. Rabbit-holes!
Who else? Nietzsche at the moment, but I have had a major crush on Kafka. Reading The Metamorphosis (Verwandlung) was a major event.
I like journals or diaries. Kierkegaard or Kafka are good examples. Thomas Merton’s 7-volume set is good but, to be honest, can be a little on the pompous side. There was a time when I swallowed Merton’s books whole.
I have been on a little existentialist journey in theology, especially with John Macquarie.
Did I forget anyone? Most certainly.
changing about changing
I have changed my mind about changing my mind. I was confident that it was a sign of weakness – a personal intellectual shortcoming. So, I was stuck in the mud of my own certainty. ‘Answers’? I have them all.
However, life changes. Yesterday’s certainties may no longer be so certain, and my view of the world may no longer be so neat. Changing your mind is a way of living outside of abstractions. Do not put people in boxes and then become angry when they do not act according to your abstration! Try to live outside of right and wrong, in or outside my boxes.
So, I really changed my mind about myself. I do not have the answers, and I need to allow people space to be themselves. And honour people’s choices even when they hurt me.
dentist!?
I have put off going to the dentist. It makes me anxious and very stressed. Yes, there is pain, but I remember the negativity from the dentists of my youth. I guess my doctor constantly reminds me I need to take my medication to stay balanced, which is sort of the same. But a numb face, an aching jaw, and someone telling you what you do wrong simply do not make a pleasant experience. I have found one that is not too bad. Hasn’t said anything about my “brushing habits” yet but has mentioned it as a future discussion. But, to be honest, I would do just about anything than go to a dentist.
Anyway…
… through a choice
So, then, what truly can be said to draw to itself must be something in itself or something that is in itself. So it is when truth draws to itself, for truth is in itself, is in and for itself—and Christ is the truth. It must be the higher that draws the lower to itself—just as when Christ, the infinitely highest one, true God and true man, from on high will draw all to himself. But the human being of whom this discourse speaks is in himself a self. Therefore Christ also first and foremost wants to help every human being to become a self, requires this of him [XII 150] first and foremost, requires that he, by repenting, become a self, in order then to draw him to himself. He wants to draw the human being to himself, but in order truly to draw him to himself he wants to draw him only as a free being to himself, that is, through a choice.
Practice in Christianity
let’s drink
SK on solitude
In antiquity as well as in the Middle Ages there was an awareness of this longing for solitude and a respect for what it means; whereas in the constant sociality of our day we shrink from solitude to the point (what a capital epigram!) that no use for it is known other than as a punishment for criminals. But since it is a crime in our day to have spirit, it is indeed quite in order to classify such people, lovers of solitude, with criminals.
Sickness unto Death
It is a frightful satire and an epigram on the temporality of modern times that nowadays the only way people can think of using solitude is as a punishment, as prison. What a difference from the times when—regardless of how worldly temporality has always been—people nonetheless believed in the solitude of the monastery, when people thus revered solitude as the highest thing, as the category of eternity—and now people avoid it like a curse, so that it is only employed as a punishment for criminals. Alas, what a change.
Jounral Volume 6
thinking
Can a vocation be a hobby? I like reading. I especially like things that make me think. Maybe that should be broader: things that make me think and feel. I try (very hard) not to rest in one area. I am reading, among other things, Ludwig Wittgenstein’s Tractatus which is as far away from my natural “feel” as possible. (But I am reading the parallel German-English version!)
So I read fiction (Daniel Silva’s The Order), literature (I love a good short story), philosophy (some I would not naturally read), theology, spirituality, history, and random things I find online. I do have areas which I use to relax. At the moment it is Nietschze. Otherwise Kierkegaard or any item related to anchorites in medieval England. Or anything related to religious life within Anglicanism. I do like Michael Yelton”s Anglican Papalism as a general distraction from life. I have gone through an Oscar Wilde stage. I really enjoyed The Picture of Dorian Gray. And Virginia Woolf (her short stories), Albert Camus (The Stranger), Kafka (the diaries and The Metamorphosis), Merton (especially the Journals), Desert Fathers and Mothers, and various random topics. All now add to the mix of my interests.
Oh wow that all sounds so pompous!
a fool and his prayer book 