Author: a fool

All alone with Jesus

for me?

Christ is no play-actor, if I may say it this soberly; neither is he a merely historical person, since as the paradox he is an extremely unhistorical person. But this is the difference between poetry and actuality: contemporaneity. The difference between poetry and history is surely this, that history is what actually happened, whereas poetry is the possible, the imagined, the poetized. But that which has actually happened (the past) is still not, except in a certain sense (namely, in contrast to poetry), the actual. The qualification that is lacking—which is the qualification of truth (as inwardness) and of all religiousness is—for you. The past is not actuality—for me. Only the contemporary is actuality for me. That with which you are living simultaneously is actuality—for you. Thus every human being is able to become contemporary only with the time in which he is living—and then with one more, with Christ’s life upon earth, for Christ’s life upon earth, the sacred history, stands alone by itself, outside history.

Practice in Christianity

time?

I was thinking, during the night, about my experience of time. When I am running late for something, it races. When I am waiting for something, it drags. Time does not change, my experience of it does.

So I was thinking about meditation and how, at times, it can drag. And why? For me, the silence becomes overwhelming when I think of something I have to do. I want to get up and do it straight away. So I start planning in my head what I have to do, when and how I will do it. And then the process becomes one of waiting for the bell to give me the freedom to “do”.

The other side of meditation, for me, is the moment of quiet and peace. It is for these moments that I persist. It is the now that continues into eternity. A moment with Jesus. These moments are often short but my experience of them is very different. And this experience of Jesus, of the now in eternity, is why I persist. I do not seek freedom to “do” but simply want to remain – I want to be with Jesus.

Anyway, an uphill day ahead. Already struggling with life and just more of the same to heap on top.

holy monday?

It is Holy Monday and I should have something “holy” to say. But I do not! Whether it is the weather, the season, or simply MDD, I am struggling to function. The total of my engagement in life is sitting and looking out the window. Last year’s Holy Week was a disaster for me with a “resurrection” on Easter Sunday. I remember spending Palm Sunday sitting on the beach crying uncontrollably. Yet I had a deep insight during the sermon on Easter Day about my life. I am not expecting an insight. And the situation is very different this year.

I have been thinking about “change”. There are many talking heads on the TV (which I rarely watch) that proclaim our need for change on this or that issue and how our government needs to facilitate that change. Many groups in the church proclaim a need for change or things will be dire. But real change only happens when the “I” changes. I cannot expect others to change to make things better. Worst of all, I cannot expect others to change to make my life better. I must change! And live as a witness to that change. Jesus brings real change. He brings change to my life and I must live that change.

So there is my not-so-holy insight for today. I will return to looking out the window!

emptied?

I just wanted to comment on the previous post. In the Greek verse 7 looks like this:

ἀλλὰ ἑαυτὸν ἐκένωσεν μορφὴν δούλου λαβών, ἐν ὁμοιώματι ἀνθρώπων γενόμενος: καὶ σχήματι εὑρεθεὶς ὡς ἄνθρωπος

Phil 2:7

The root of the verb used for the action, “emptied”, is κενόω:

1) to empty, make empty
1a) of Christ, he laid aside equality with or the form of God
2) to make void
2a) deprive of force, render vain, useless, of no effect
3) to make void
3b) cause a thing to be seen to be empty, hollow, false

The Wikipedia article is not too bad.

In John of the Cross’s thinking, kenosis is the concept of the ‘self-emptying’ of one’s own will and becoming entirely receptive to God and the divine will. It is used both as an explanation of the Incarnation, and an indication of the nature of God’s activity and will. Mystical theologian John of the Cross’ work “Dark Night of the Soul” is a particularly lucid explanation of God’s process of transforming the believer into the icon or “likeness of Christ”.

So what does it mean that Jesus “emptied himself”? And what does that mean for me in terms of my life?

Phil 2

5 Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,

6 who, though he was in the form of God,
    did not regard equality with God
    as something to be exploited,
7 but emptied himself,
    taking the form of a slave,
    being born in human likeness.
And being found in human form,
8     he humbled himself
    and became obedient to the point of death—
    even death on a cross.

9 Therefore God also highly exalted him
    and gave him the name
    that is above every name,
10 so that at the name of Jesus
    every knee should bend,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue should confess
    that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

witness?

The true knight of faith is a witness, never a teacher, and therein lies the deep humanity that is worth more than this frivolous concern for the welfare of other people that is extolled under the name of sympathy but is really nothing more than vanity.

Fear and Trembling

accept to expect

I have been meaning to write this for a couple of days. While having a coffee I was challenged (indirectly) by someone to move from “accept to expect”. And I have been reflecting on that for a couple of days.

I really like that! Not “I accept God will come to my help” but “I expect God to come to my help”. I think there is a sense of action in being “expectant” on God. As the shift from “choice” to “resolution” is a movement toward action, from possibility to actuality, so “accepting” to “expecting” is a movement.

I think, in a way, that is the movement that Kierkegaard expects (!!) in faith. The change from possibility to actuality. The movement from having faith in Jesus to imitating Jesus in my daily life. Maybe that is what the Brethren of the Common Life called “conversion”. From the head to the heart?!

Is that too over the top philosophical?

resolutions?

I have been reading Devotio Moderna: Basic Writings by John Van Engen. I have been waiting for it to arrive for over a month. There is a collection of “Resolutions and Intentions” by the founder of the Brethren of the Common life, Geert Groote, in the book. There is a decisive fell that this is not a set of vows or a rule of life but rather a way to live. I like the idea of religious life without vows beyond those of all the baptised. We are all called to “love God and love our neighbour as ourselves”. The religious life is not for the “spiritual elite” so why ask any more of the religious than of all the baptised?

So I thought I would follow that through a little. What does the noun “resolution” mean?

noun: resolution; plural noun: resolutions
1. a firm decision to do or not to do something.
Similar: intention, resolve, decision, intent, aim, aspiration, design, purpose, object, plan, commitment, pledge, promise, undertaking

A resolution is connected to an intention. Both are a decision to set a path and walk it. There is no certainty in the resolution – no end result. But rather it is for the moment. A resolution needs renewing every new moment – it is a way of life rather than a point in time. And there is no room for doubt – I am either going to do it or not.

So vow to love, be resolved to live for Jesus only?