Author: a fool

All alone with Jesus

books, books, and more books

So I am going to limit myself to only purchasing books every second month. I have gone crazy with book purchases recently!

I am not sure what it is about books that attracts me so much. Yes, the feel and smell. But I think it is the possibility of information and insight. The connection with another person outside of time and space. Maybe it is just very self-centred?

So hot today that I cannot think!

now what?

In what ways do you communicate online?

To be honest, I am a social media “watcher”. I like to see what other people are doing rather than “do” myself. I have Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. But I watch more than I add to the conversation. And, TikTok makes me laugh!

I have this blog. It is more like a journal than any attempt to communicate. The blog itself – the “stuff” behind the scene – serves a purpose in my life rather than the “information” (what does that mean?) that it communicates. BTW: I have changed the URL of the blog!

I am, however, planning a podcast: now what? Once I get over my self-doubt and confusion – should someone claiming to live a solitary life have a podcast? – I hope to record regularly. I have nothing to say but I think that the process itself will be helpful for me.

So there you have it!

and the crowd goes wild

Come up with a crazy business idea.

So here is my idea: I pay people to come to a stadium until it is full (huge stadium!). Other people then pay me for them to go into the middle and get celebrated by the whole stadium. People can play their favourite sport or be their favourite celebrity. I would call it “and the crowd goes wild”.

being different?

What could you do differently?

I love these prompts. My answer is always, “everything”. But doing comes from being. Could I be someone different? If I took the mistakes from the past and “fixed them”, would I still be me? Ok, the “me” is not fantastic or even mildly satisfactory.

I remember once speaking to a priest who complained that I was overly sensitive. This came in the midst of a conversation in which the priest lauded various positives. I remember saying to this priest that you cannot have the positives (of me) without the negatives.

SO, there are plenty of things I could do differently. But would I still be me?

Presence

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

By choice, I live alone. It is not misanthropy. It is a choice to be with Jesus. Yet, I do talk and interact with people. This is not an invasion of my “aloneness”. It is part of being alone with Jesus.

So the greatest gift that I can give to someone is my presence. That does not mean being “present” with someone but being present for someone. So I guess the greatest gift someone could give me is their presence. Not seeing me as “objective characteristics” that offer pre-conscienced ideas. But seeing me, listening to me, being present for me. That presence is not physical but always personal.

And, yes, that is Jesus. He offers me his presence! Not always with answers or solutions. Sometimes just hold my hand. And Jesus is polite – he will not force his presence on me. A simple act of surrender – of placing myself in his presence. The Cloud of Unknowning puts it this way, “Trying is my desire”. Kierkegaard speaks of faith as resolution.

liminal space?

I have been trying to organise some thoughts around the religious life. And I found this quote:

The liminal space is an invitation to surrender – an invitation to give over to something larger than self and trust that we will be held and supported with whatever we need in order to navigate the uncertainty. The degree to which we are comfortable or uncomfortable has to do with how we choose to be with what is happening. We can choose to fight against the liminal space and struggle, or to flow with it by listening, sensing, and responding.

The Liminal Space – Embracing the Mystery and Power of Transition from What Has Been to What Will Be

Maybe the older mystical writers would call it “the cloud of unknowing”? There is a sense in which the religious life, or Christianity as a whole, is a “what if” life. I think the current Archbishop of Canterbury said that?!

eh?! No!?

Are you a good judge of character?

I have skipped a number of the prompts as they were, simply put, way too painful. But today’s looks like something I can work with.

So the short answer is No. The longer one is Noooooo! In reality, I spend so little time with people that I would not have a clue about their character. And, living in the “cult of personality” world, what is character?!

Personally, I trust people way too quickly. I move from acquaintance to friendship and then to enemies for life. And, I admit, mostly my doing.

So a very brief answer to a huge question.

Tea?!

List your top 5 grocery store items.

Oh wow! Tea, and tea, and maybe some tea, and lemon slice, and tea.

I like different types of tea but it has to be loose leaf. The routine is to make a fresh pot of tea in the morning and top it up with water during the day. So it is very strong in the morning and weaker in the evening.

I know that is not very exciting. And I get other items at the supermarket but I always check the tea specials first.